


No homo..........

by BrowsoftheTaiga



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:11:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9301481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrowsoftheTaiga/pseuds/BrowsoftheTaiga
Summary: Just two straight bros doing straight things





	

**Author's Note:**

> I found a list of Christian-friendly words for 'penis' and it was so fucking ridiculous I immediately felt the urge to write something where I'd only use words from that list
> 
> in case you wanna see the list : http://tysonbowersiii.com/51-christian-friendly-words-for-penis/

 

They were in Kagami's living room, chillin' on the couch while talking about basketball like the two straight bros they were, and somehow,  _like the two straight bros they were_ , they started talking about the size of their... well... you know....

The size of their Sin Sticks, or their DNA Rifles, if you will.

Aomine claimed that his Squirt Dart was bigger than Kagami's and, of course, the redhead had to disagree.

So, after getting it hard, Kagami whipped out his Tangy Tart Trombone. He felt a rush of pride when Aomine gasped and looked at it with wide eyes, "Woah, dude, your Colorado Spitting Viper is fucking huge..." Aomine realized he was pratically drooling and he sounded way too enthusiastic so he coughed, "But my Magic Tobacco Pipe is way bigger."

Kagami scoffed, "Oh yeah ? Show me your Johnson’s Little Fishing Buddy then, 'cause I don't believe you."

"You got a ruler ? That way we can see which of our Beefy Apple-Johnnys is bigger." Aomine said as he took his Unmuzzled Wagtail out of his boxers.

Kagami stood there for a few seconds, staring at Aomine's Sin Snake without a word. He hadn't expected it to look so nice. 

"I asked you a question." Aomine said, shaking the redhead out of his reverie.

"W-Wha-Oh, a ruler ? Yeah I... I think I got one." Kagami clumsily went to search his bag while Aomine waited on the couch. After a few seconds, the redhead threw his bag back on the floor and looked at him again, "Fuck, I lent it to Kuroko."

Aomine clicked his tongue but then both men looked at each other as the same idea crossed their minds.

Aomine stood up and stood in front of Kagami for a few seconds before both of them said, "No homo" at the same time. 

Then, Kagami stepped towards him until their shoulders were pressed against each other. Both of them took their Master Dangles and pressed them together horizontally, letting out a small sigh because of the skin to skin contact. 

Aomine wrapped his arm around Kagami's shoulder like he always did and they both looked down at their Dwaddle Veins to compare them. Both the length and the thickness were the same.

"That's fucking bullshit ! How are they exactly the same size ?!" Kagami exclaimed in frustration. He looked at Aomine who was staring at his face. There was something in his blue eyes that Kagami hadn't ever seen before, and that kind of made his body temperature rise, "...Dude, don't look at me like that."

"Like what ?" Aomine asked with a raised brow and unconsciously licked his lips.

"Like..." he trailed off and looked down at their Fleshy Roman Spears. They were still pressed together and Kagami swallowed audibly. He wasn't sure why, but... he felt some kind of urge... He just wanted to try to...

"A- _Ah_ -" Aomine let out a noise just as Kagami experimentally slid his Trap-Stick against his, and the sound the man made went straight to his groin. 

This... This definitely wasn't gay. They said 'No homo'.

He glanced at Aomine again and he was breathing hard and looking at the redhead like he was desperate for something, and Kagami felt his Temptation Wand throb.

Aomine's face got closer to Kagami's, so close he could feel the man's breath on his lips. Now Kagami was starting to feel just as desperate as Aomine seemed to be.

" _No homo_." Aomine said softly, he was breathing just as hard as Kagami was, "...You gotta say it too."

Kagami's heart skipped a beat because he knew his bro wasn't going to try anything unless he was sure they were both okay with being so intimate even though they were straight. Kagami just wanted to crash his lips against Aomine's so he said it, he said 'no homo', and suddenly their chests were pressed against each other.

Aomine's tongue slid into his mouth while Kagami's free hand was gripping at blue hair and his other hand was wrapped around both of their Baker's Rolling Pins. Aomine placed his hand over Kagami's to make him pump their Secret Lollipops harder and faster and his free hand was sliding up Kagami's shirt. 

They moaned into each other's mouth as they approached orgasm, and both of them pulled away to look at each other as they came just one minute later.

Both men's legs were feeling weak because of the incredible orgasm they'd just had, so they both laid down on the couch and kissed for a few minutes.

"You look so beautiful while you're nutting." Aomine said softly and stroked Kagami's red hair back, "No homo."

"... _Dude_..." Kagami whispered romantically and hugged him, letting out a small, shy laugh. It was nice to know his best bro thought he was beautiful, "You too." he said and looked at him, "And your eyes are... They're so pretty. No homo."

Aomine smiled and his cheeks were slightly flushed, just like Kagami's were. 

They took their stained clothes off and cuddled on the couch all day, whispering 'no homo' in each other's ear once in a while, and both of them were really glad to have a bro they could be so intimate with, without it being weird or awkward.

 

**Author's Note:**

> wish i had a bro like this............


End file.
